The definition of tradition is the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way.
I love having Christmas traditions. I look forward to them every year. So many great memories were formed from doing traditions year after year.
But something I have learned about traditions is that sometimes they evolve or change a little bit. Traditions can be flexible.
Sometimes traditions change whether you want it to or not. Maybe you’ve moved away from family or your family moved away. Maybe someone who was always there for Christmas is no longer here. That changes the traditions.
To me it’s the people that I’m with that make the traditions meaningful, not the tradition itself.
Angel Tree
Growing up my mom had this little tree that she would decorate with angel ornaments. I loved this tree. It was one of my favorite decorations that came out every Christmas. I inherited that tree and ornaments when my parents moved out of the country. The tradition evolved. The tree and angel ornaments had a new home. I also decided that every year I was going to get a new angel ornament. Sometimes two. The collection has grown so much that now I decorate my big tree with them. The tradition of having an angel tree still has the same meaning to me even though it looks different from when I was a child. Since my parents have moved, we have not spent a Christmas together but when I pull out my mom’s angel ornaments and hang them next to my angel ornaments, it feels like she is with me.
Pīrāgi
Another important Christmas tradition is making pīrāgi. Since I was a little girl I have been making pīrāgi and I have so many memories of being in the kitchen with my grandma, mom and other family members. I love that my grandma taught me how to make these delicious ‘bacon buns’ from our culture. It was heartbreaking the first Christmas after my grandma passed. But we still made pīrāgi. The tradition evolved. Instead of grandma making the dough and filling, it was my mom. I also started to share this tradition with my friends by hosting a pīrāgi baking party. After my parents moved the tradition evolved again. Now I make the dough and the filling and I still invite friends to be apart of this tradition.
Because of Chaz
The best change to this tradition came about from Chaz. Because of Chaz I have 3 nieces that I have had the joy of sharing this tradition with for 7 Christmases. Last Christmas was the first Christmas since Chaz died. My sister-in-law and I made the plan to still bake pīrāgi with the girls but gave each other permission to cancel at the last moment. We didn’t need to cancel and it was a good time with sharing memories, catching up and shedding some tears for Chaz.
Continuing in Grief
When a loved one has passed away it is hard to want to continue doing life the same way. But you also don’t want to have to do things differently. But things are different. I had a choice after Chaz died. I could live my life alone and be bitter about the things that were different. But a better choice, and the choice that I made, was to live my life with people and evolve. Just like traditions.
